This table I’m about to shake, I just hope it doesn’t break while you’re standing on it.
It’s not enough to know the meaning of colleague, friend, acquittance, family, mentor, and leader.
If you’ve not understood the yardstick for classifying the people in your life into these broad categories, then you’ll probably miss out on big opportunities in life when they come.
Some people have met those who can transform their lives but they messed up big time.
Lots of guys have finally come in contact with the ladies that should be the suppose “destiny helpers” they’ve been praying for. But due to their burning Solomon spirits, they wooed the ladies to bed instead.
This article is long overdue. I was going to write it 6 days ago but didn’t.
It’s a long read. If you can, journey with me to the end.
If you are abreast of global trends, you should know that the world’s biggest economies, China and the USA (America) have been fighting a trade war for months.
America slapped heavy tariffs on $200B worth of Chinese goods being imported into America; while China reciprocated the gesture by hitting America with retaliatory tariffs.
One of the causes of the war is hinged to the fact that America has been having huge trade deficit against China for years. President Trump, being a core nationalist is hard bent at changing the narrative. And the war began.
Away from the US-China trade war, something dramatic happened a week ago. It was something that made me receive sense.
America is also having immigration problems. There has been an influx of immigrants into the US through the Southern border they share with Mexico.
Most of the immigrants are not even from Mexico. However, they need to pass through Mexico to get to the US.
Trump has been very vocal about this and swore to put an end to it. Severally, he called on Mexico to do something about it to no avail.
So late last month, he tweeted that unless Mexico steps up to manage the migration imbroglio, he would slap tariffs on 5% of all Mexican goods sold to the US.
That will adversely affect the Mexican economy in tune of billions of dollars.
The tariff was scheduled to take effect on June 10th and would increase weekly by 5% until Mexico does something astonishing about the immigration from their end.
Keenly, I followed this threat waiting to see how Mexico would react. I expected things to get nasty. Perhaps they would threaten the US too with a retaliatory tariff just as China did.
Lo and behold, I was wrong. Almost immediately, Mexico’s president told the press he will enter a dialogue with the US in a bid to avert the threat.
That diplomatic push seemed too “cowardly” of the Mexican president, most especially because Trump was still spitting fire and brimstone against them.
Not too long after, Mexico sent a delegation to Washington. Within a few days, they signed a deal with the US, stooping low to the demands of America.
This taught me a big lesson.
Know Your Mate
Some of the problems we are facing in life are because we’ve not understood the “cultural” meaning of the word “mate” and we’ve not identified who they are.
Over-familiarity has made us categorize several persons as our equals.
I often hear people say things like, “See your mate dey play ball for Barcelona” or “See person wey you senior dey do things and you dey here.”
So I ask, does sharing the same birth year with someone automatically make them your mate in all ramifications?
Or does sitting in the same office with them make you equal?
We mistake our colleagues to be friends and those we should call mentors, we have foolishly decided to call them mere colleagues.
What you call someone determines the honor you will accord them.
Social media went agog last year when pictures of Davido in his NYSC Khaki flooded the internet.
Nigerians called it absurd for NYSC officials to take snapshots with him. They argued it was out of place for him to be given the stage to perform in the orientation camp among other numerous rants.
Some were even asking why he should be treated any different from other corps members? I was just shaking my head in silence.
Ain’t a fan of the artiste, but let’s be honest. If you were in the capacity of the officials, would you have acted any different?
For crying out loud, this is Nigeria. Davido and other corps members are not mates. Fact.
He is a public figure who may even get a higher ovation than the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. But the pride in you is asking those officials not to “honor” him because he is a boy, right?
Please, would you have acted any different?
It is easy for China to flex muscles with the US. But it would have been foolishness for Mexico to do the same.
I mean, America’s GDP is 17 times higher than Mexico’s. And their GDP grows yearly, many thanks to their annual trade with the US.
Although the deal the Mexican president sealed is currently under debate in the Mexican legislative body, it doesn’t change the fact that they know America is not their mate.
You may call it economic bullying but in the words of Napoleon of Animal Farm,
“All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.”
As Daddy John Obidi will say, one of the first steps to success is to define your fight. Yes. Define who you are and where you are headed.
If you are in any way disadvantaged due to societal imbalance or family background, please note that your fight is different and you should be humble enough to stoop to conquer.
This is a principle that men like Nyesom Wike understand and applied to rise in his political career.
No one becomes a boss automatically. At some point, you will have to bow to someone. Often times, that someone may be far younger than you.
As crude, abusive, and demeaning as it sounds, you may have to say thank you to that someone while you are being insulted.
Learn it! It’s part of the process.
There is a default level of pomposity in man, a desire to measure up and belong to the ruling class.
We think too highly of ourselves and consider it pride to bend to people we know are higher than us in certain areas of life.
The other day I heard Mr. A advising Mr. B to quit his job. I know the advisor to be earning less than 50K in his place of work.
On the other hand, the advisee works in a firm where he should be earning over 120K or thereabout. He has a family and two kids.
He was advised to quit because his boss, a lady, is temperamental and was always quick to hurl insults at his employees at the slightest provocation.
Due to his egoistic complex, Mr. A felt the best thing Mr. B could do was to quit his job even though he wasn’t sure of another.
I can’t count how many times I have offered free services to people I call mentors.
I do crazy things for them to the extent that people call me foolish.
They couldn’t understand why I will “belittle” myself before such persons. People see these ones as my colleagues and friends, but I know I’m not their mate.
So I call them mentors, accord them their due honor in order to rise with them.
Learn it! It’s essential for getting to the top.
Some of your classmates you call colleagues are loaded with the requisite wisdom to change your life for the best.
Don’t be too proud to identify the grace upon their lives. Sir, meet them and be blessed by their wisdom.
A few of the people you call industry mates are far more advanced than you with great connections that can take your business to the next level.
Ma, don’t be too proud to ask them to show you the way.
This is the reason some persons will be in a church for years without being blessed. However, someone else will come to the church once and leave fulfilled.
The difference is that the members have so familiarized themselves with the pastor that they no longer believe he has anything to offer.
Honor is the word.
A lot of successful people today are thriving in the relationships they built in their youth.
This is the time to identify those who are higher than you in class, profession and social status.
It’s time to bond with those you need. Grow your relationship with them. Learn from their experience and grow. In years to come, what you call “insults” and “belittling” today will be stories to laugh about when you at the top.