You Are As Big As Your Relationships

There is something remarkable about the rich which the poor can only understand from a negative perspective.

A couple of days ago, a close friend called, asking for a certain amount of money which I didn’t have at my disposal that instant. She needed to send it urgently to one of her clients. But because her bank app was acting up, she reached out to me.

When I told her I couldn’t make the transfer that day, she asked a quick question, “who in our cycle has such amount of money to spare today?”

At once, the word “CYCLE” struck me and made me realize the potency of relationships.

Successful people are intentional about their relationships. The rich maintain a cycle of friends of similar social class, while the poor also have only their kind as friends. This is why it’s quite difficult for the rich to become poor, or for the poor to get rich.

Except he encounters a miracle, the only way a poor man can become rich is by intentional self-development and by association with those at the top.

If you spend all your life living in a particular locality, you have a great chance of having all your friends from that locality. Is that a bad thing? Not necessarily, but you sure would be handicapped when you need help which those friends cannot render.

My friend and I have a mutual cycle of friends with similar net worth, social standing, and knowledge base. And if we (her friends) can’t come to her aid, she would most likely be stuck or would have to look unto other friends outside of our cycle.

Take a little time and think about the cycle of friends you keep and how much you can help each other.

Have you noticed that bankers have friends from different social classes and economic sectors? Well, if you have anyone who has been in that industry for years, try to find out, and you’d realize that by association, they’ve built relationships with different customers from different works of life.

Frankly, this is one of the best things you can get from a job that allows you to interact with different people.
In simple terms, Networking or Relationship Building is two dimensional: vertical and horizontal.


Horizontal Networking

Horizontal networking involves expanding your sphere of influence across the people on the same pedestal with you. It can be your colleagues, classmates, and immediate friends. The goal is to maintain the best of relationships with them knowing that you won’t be on that level for long.

If you’re running a 4-year program in college, there is a high chance that you won’t ever see some of your course mates after graduation. So, it’s heightened foolishness to start picking unnecessary fights and quarrels with these ones at the slightest provocations.

Perhaps, you were made a SUG executive, and you see it as an opportunity to prey on others. Bros, you’re only foolish.

Wise people know that they are as strong as the number of people who can stand in for them in the day of calamity. So they spend time, using their resources and portfolio to win hearts.

I agree you can’t be friends with everyone, but that doesn’t mean you should make them enemies instead. Some people are in a mess today because they can’t handle their emotions, flaring up just to prove an irrelevant point.


Vertical Networking

Vertical Networking involves creating connections with those at the top without forgetting those below. It’s like two-way traffic.

If you want to go far in life, you must, as a matter of necessity, build relationships with those who are far higher than you.

There are many things money, beauty, qualifications, or even good character can’t give you. I’ve understood this experientially.

If it’s solely by good reputation, some of those people sitting in big offices in our government houses won’t be there.

As you continue your work in life, utilize every morally-correct opportunity to network with those who can pull strings and break protocols for you.

Most importantly, such networks will enhance the way you think and grant you wisdom beyond your cycle of friends. If all the people you listen to are on the same level as you, you will only experience arithmetic growth.

But if you glean on the wisdom of those above you, you’ll live above your age with exponential wisdom. Upward vertical relationships are the foundation of what you call, “IM,” “Ima mmadu,” or “connection.”


Downward Vertical Networking

I insinuated that vertical relationships have two arrows pointing up and down. The funny thing about life is that for those who are at the top to connect with you, they have to look down first.

In the same manner, you need to develop the mindset of looking down to help those stretching their hands towards you.

If you can’t bring out a little time to hear these ones out, then you’re quite ungrateful to those who gave you opportunities. That doesn’t mean you will have to spend all your time with them. NO. It’s not a sign of humility, but foolishness.

If you start spending every bit of time with those seemingly below you, you’re are bound to suffer stunted growth. With time, you’ll have nothing new to offer them, not to mention the over-familiarity syndrome that is killing us.

Sir, keeping your distance when necessary is not arrogance or pride. Rebuke every spirit that is making you think otherwise.

Always give back to people. But the truth is if you’re trying to help others with your resources, like time, money, and knowledge when you’re standing with shaky feet on your current position, there is a high chance that you will slip and fall down.

Your focus should be more horizontal and upward so you can grow to a higher level where you can help more people. Even Moses could not help the Israelites until his life was helped by God.


The Folly Of Our Generation

We have a generation of people who don’t understand that it is easier to achieve greatness when we climb on the shoulders of others.

Sadly, they find it easier to create enemies than to make their beds. Their mouths run faster than taps to create discord; and surely, they can’t be rebuked.

Hear this. If you don’t have someone in your life who can call you to order and influence your decisions, then you’re already heading for disaster.

You will miss it so many times before you finally find the right path. One of the easiest ways to grow is by association. It’s not enough to be educated, well-mannered, skillful and talented.

Bros, build your network. If you went through the four walls of the University and you don’t know a few professionals in different industries, then it means you were an island on campus.

Why must you always allow people to feel the wrath of your anger? Save that wrath for the devil. If you go about cutting off everyone who pissed you off, your day of distress will come sooner than you anticipate. And when you cry wolf, no one will respond.

A hardworking man builds bridges. But a wise man uses the bridges of others and build more bridges for those coming after him.

Build more connections, but don’t forget those strong friends who are steadfastly growing with you in the days of your little beginning.

They too have bright futures, and you’re more powerful if you have them as allies.

20 thoughts on “You Are As Big As Your Relationships

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